"Lover's Quarrel"

I fumble in darkness

Trying to see me

Who I am, What I am

Not only to you

But to others.

Do I smother

Do I shame

What do you think of me

Is it all a game?

Jab at my heart

Cut out my voice

And tell me that

you love me

The heal all again.

"Let me in"

You are my sun and moon

You are my stars and everything

Bright and nice

As I am dark

See the vulchurs

Around me swirl

See the dove's

Around you swirl

Sun on your shoulders sets

Shadows on my shoulders circle

But you are what you

are

As am I, I

So be happpy and shine

Bright enough

For me to let

The evil out

And Blessedness in

"Game"

Who the HeLL are you, to do

this to me?

Why the fuck

you fuck me?

I serve fucking friend eternal

What reward doth thou

give me?

For toiless service

Take my fucking life

You basterd god

Take my feelings away

The crying shoulder

The crying shame

I live through another day

in HeLL

Hate me

Love me

It's all the same

Join me in this

Fucking

Game.

"Alcoholic"

Viril and young

Though past of misery

Oldest of 7

Left home at 11

Kicked out but still he learned

JobToJob, GirlToGirl

Found a flower, oh so sweet

A love careing woman

Old and gery

Presant misery

Oldest of 5

Can't leave his home

Passed out, but still he breaths

A sad tired woman

Life is short

Don't drink it away

"Care"

People will hurt me,

People won't care

Rip my heart to shreds

Do you dare?

Do you dare?

I've had it done once,

I've had it done twice

Mayve even thrice!

You all take me in

Pretend to love me,

When my heart is commited,

You beat me,

To the ground!

Stomp on me; kick me

Burn me in hell!

I wish they would, Just lock me,

In a padded cell!

Now I try to injure myself,

Be rid of myself

Kill myself

No one loves me,

So who shall care?

"CarTruck"

I could do it,

Right now,

I have the keys,

I have a radio,

I could do it,

I think,

Maybe,

Dang,

I can't.

"Painer"

Who the HeLL are you

You basterd

To do this to me

I sit and talk

Take shit and greif

"Your Self"

I don't understand

I don't comprehend

Does he see I luve him, as a friend

I won't hurt your heart

In my life you are not just one who plays a part

They all try to lub you

But only for sex

S-E-X doesn't spell luv

F-R-I-E-N-D does!

Do they see you, for who you are

Not some all you can eat bar?

You have talent, heart, I think your very

smart!

Not enough credit given

YOu care for my feelings

You respect me, How can I not do the same?

Life is a melting pot, Not a game

To win To lose

Not known

No you choose

This song I sing to you, from my heart

Respect Yourself

Luv Yourself

Charish Yourself

And most of all

Be yourself!

"Silver Shame"

Walk witht he power

of love in your heat

of summer days

and snow days

Bright days

and cozy rainy days

Don't see the shadows

always behind you

In the closet

under the bed

in the attic

under the dressar

Walk with the power

Of fear in your heat

of poisonious plants

and Frozen home's

Cloudy days

and stormy scary days

Worry not of those days dark

stay with me

and all shall be bright

even our nights

we shall make shine

"Night time tears" (added onto around 7:58 pm, around 6/10/00)

I shall not hurt

I shall not shame

I shall not call you anyname

But yours

God given

To use well

Now get you

Me?

I am not

you?

Or am I?

Us?

Shame Shame

What is a name

your name?

Power hides in names

As such is yours

Is it?

yours really?

Strong?

Weak?

"Pain Tissue" (7:49 pm 6/10/00)

You lives not yours

Filled with hate

of selves, and those

who cause you pain

But we see they

in our own sad eyes

same scars

differant places

Why shall I not help

I help can not change

What help can I offer

My love, loyalty, heart, soul

Up to grab

One or other

Both or none

To take

and hold

and care for

I'll love

you and yours

Bad and good

Alike

BalladOf old/you/me (7:52pm 6/10/00)

Cry

Cry hard

Harder

More

Tears

Hate

Lose

Scars

To painful

to bear

Take it away

My lover go

Away tears

Cry none

Cry never

Quieter

No more

No tears

New lover

New peace giver

Winner

you

"Hate Hate Hate" (7:54pm 6/10/00, after thinking of former friend turned betrayer.)

Oh love

love lost

Taken by you

Never had yours

You never

knew the pain

I go through

I made you live

I kept you alive

You cheet

You jerk

You soul taker

Heart breaker

Lover-hater

Die I did

Live you shall

"Derek"

The sun still shines

The moon still rises

But all this you don't see

For in your eyes

is only her

Her laugh

Her smile

Her mean words

her kind goodbye words

Though gone you feel

Your still here

The breeath still

To live still

Look around if you will

At a mirror

Words can't say what you are

The beauty inside is beauty outside

"ME"

I found my worth

I finally found me

Good for only 1 thing

Happiness I bring

To those in pain

I make them sane again

Nothing else to me

Just endlessly

helping others

To no avail

I still hate me

They still don't help

Where is the helper

For the helpers

Who decided I am

not worth saving?

Who decided to make

me save everyone

and die inside my

worthless self?

"No title"

Another day gone by

As yet I still don't fly

But rest forever

Shackles open never

Hold me to your will

Live again I shall

Blossom into a rose

Someday you will loose

I will get the upper hand

And you, my evil side

will be left in the

dusty sand of forgotten

fears

and endless tears.

"No title"

I don't know my feelings

What is right?

What is wrong?

Do I like them...

For my need

For love

For self esteem?

Who do I like?

My pissed off little guy?

My kind hearted pained friend?

Why?

Whats going on?

In my heart

is chaos

In my soul

termoil

Does he like me?

To scared to show?

Does he like me?

Though younger?

What shall I do

How do I decide?

Do I deserve either? or none?